Planning a Simple Funeral
Recently,
several of my friends passed away. As I have watched the families deal with the
details of the necessary planning following the passing of a loved one, it has
been easy to see that some have planned for this event and others were taken by
complete surprise. Those who had made
previous plans were able to concentrate on family relationships rather than
focusing on all of the stressful details necessary in planning a funeral or
memorial. Unfortunately, if no planning has been done, decisions are based on
emotion rather than needs; you are much more likely to be taken advantage of
when making arrangements at the last minute.
If you have not
had experience in the actual planning of a service like this before, it is easy
to be at a real loss as to what needs to be done. Of course everyone will have
different approaches to end of life needs, even so, many decisions must be made
and it is usually better to make them beforehand. Below is a simple checklist
designed to help with the planning of a funeral or memorial service.
Checklist for a Simple
Funeral
(adapted from Barbara Kate Ripa,
editor at Caring.com)
- Decide whether to hold a funeral or a less formal memorial service.
- Set a date and time for the gathering, usually a weekend or weekday evening.
- Arrange for a place to hold the event -- a church or anywhere that feels right.
- Contact a pastor, priest, bishop, minister, rabbi, or other religious official to officiate, if desired.
- Appoint someone to officiate at the service, to welcome those who attend, introduce speakers, indicate prayers and songs, and direct periods of silence.
Several days before the service:
- Choose music and songs.
- Decide who should be invited to attend.
- Write and print programs or memorial notices.
- Arrange for flowers.
- Order or arrange for food and beverages.
- Arrange photographs or other memorabilia for display.
- Get a guestbook for signatures and comments.
- Arrange to have the service photographed, recorded, or videotaped
Importance in planning includes checking and
comparing prices. Costs can vary by thousands of dollars. You may buy a casket or
urn from any supplier; many people are even finding what they need on the
internet. While the funeral home might not like it, federal law requires them
to accept and use materials purchased from another company. They may not charge you extra for
this. Many of the items, such as printed programs, can be created at home by a
friend or family member. Funeral homes must also provide you with an itemized
price list for the cost of all merchandise and services they propose to
provide.
Not overpaying for funeral expenses isn’t disrespectful, it
is common sense.
